Just a few pictures that I want to make sure we have forever.
I am grateful to have this family as my own.
Just a few pictures to preserve this stage. The stage of growing up. Every family is taking steps towards their own future, and unfortunately that takes us away from each other. But that only makes me appreciate the times when we are together. I love this family, I really couldn't have asked for better in-laws.

Cooper and Gracie

 Siblings. There is nothing in this world quite like them. I'm obsessed with my own, so it's only fitting that  my son be obsessed with his. Here's a few pictures I want to save forever of Cooper, with his beloved  "Gr-Gr" He looks for her first in the morning when he wakes up, and he calls for her in the backseat if she isn't making noise in her car seat. One morning Gracie was fussing on the couch, and I ran to grab something. I came back and found her pants, her blanket, and her binki all on top of her face from Cooper's attempts to comfort her. Although it didn't help the situation much, it sure was a nice try! Last week I was getting ready to take them both to the doctor and was calling for an appointment, I turned around and found Cooper happily sitting with Gracie in her carseat. Surprisingly, she was wide awake just looking around and had no problem with it! He is not a very mellow child, but if he is in the mood to hold Gracie he will sit there forever. I love this first picture, notice Gracie's crossed legs, they were both just chillin on her bouncer-I'm surprised it's not broken.

Sick day lounging

 blessing day

Nothing has made me happier as a mom then to watch these two interact in the tiniest of ways. I am convinced that Cooper remembered this girl, he had just barely been here a year when she arrived after all. He met her when she was just 8 hours old and immediately wanted to kiss her and hug her the moment he walked into our hospital room. Luckily my neighbor brought Cooper to us, and just picked up the camera and starting clicking. I am so thankful, these pictures are some of my favorite treasures! Looking forward to watching these two grow up side by side...

On the Road Again..

I wish I could write in beautiful detail all about our eventful month. I really wish I could capture it all just perfectly on this little blog page, to open up and laugh about in the future, to read and remind myself of the way I have been feeling each and every minute of this madness. However, let's be realistic. I barely have time to keep this little family fed and looking semi decent  (third week of suitcase living over here.) We are currently just in survival mode, please don't judge..

It started when Gracie was not even a month old, and Christmas came to visit in all it's glorious chaos. As if that chaos wasn't enough, we added a little chaos of our own. The week of Christmas we started selling all of our crap newlywed furniture. I'm assuming it seemed like a KSL jackpot to many of our Christmas time purchasers, but nothing left our house without a little pit forming in my stomach. I watched every piece be carried down the driveway, until it was safe in the car of it's new owner. Trust me, I'm not afraid to admit that I may be a little on the overly sentimental side. But honestly, we are talking the kitchen table-our first big purchase together as the Allen-Allen's. It was assembled in front of a big kitchen window with all the naive joy of two little amateurs..how can you say goodbye to that without a little tug on the ol heartstrings. So one by one our accumulated belongings left, and I learned that "things" just really aren't as important as I thought they were.

I decided that some other day when it's not so close to the surface I might bring myself to blog about saying goodbye to our little Sugarhouse cottage. I might blog about when I vacuumed Cooper's empty nursery for the last time, and let myself have a little private break down remembering the nights that I had rocked him to sleep in that room, and the mornings I couldn't wait to open that door and see his sweet face. I also might blog about saying goodbye to our neighbors in the driveway, who have been there since year one of our marriage, who followed us from South Jordan, whose door Cooper knocked on all Summer, who taught us exactly what kind of neighbors we want to be to all of our neighbors in the future. They will forever be considered our family.
Maybe someday I'll blog about shutting the door of 1740 Downington for the last time, and walking down the steps to the loaded car. I tried not to remember that Cooper first learned to climb on those steps this summer (I video taped it 4 times) and I tried not to remember that we brought both our little babies home here.

I might get to the point where I blog about eating Zupa's on moving day in an empty front room with Jaimee, Tyler Sophie and Tuck. Probably not anytime soon though. For now, I am not facing the fact that I will not be able to spend weekday mornings, weekend game nights, Sunday dinners, and summer afternoons with them whenever I please. I am pretending that next week we will take Cooper and Sophie to the mall and let them ride the merry-go-round, and Cooper will follow Sophie wherever she goes. I'm avoiding the fact that my sister is the best friend I could ever ask for, and I have never been so far away from her for so long.

 

I also plan to blog about saying goodbye to all of our other good friends and family, all of the people who have made Utah feel like home. This doesn't include the goodbyes to my beloved Sugarhouse Park, Primary Children's, and just good old Utah in general. This is the place where I became a wife and mom for the first time. It is a place where I have only the happiest of memories.

When we drove away at 6pm (only an hour late on moving day, impressive, right?)we had two sleeping babies in the back and almost everything we owned stuffed inside our little Nissan Rogue. It was a peaceful drive down a dark empty highway. We talked for a good solid three hours about the memories we had made, and the amazing people we met who just basically have inspired us, and we realized we want to be like them someday, wherever we end up..and we concluded that maybe we were leaving the place we love as just a little bit better people then we were when we arrived, thanks to those around us.

So maybe I sound a little depressing in this post, but what's the purpose of a blog if the feelings stated aren't real and true. Don't get me wrong, I really am soo SO excited for our move, but I have been an emotional mess lately. Sunday morning we just put the cherry on top of our streak of goodbyes with a goodbye to Shawn at the Idaho Falls airport. Despite all the stress the past month has provided, he and I have had some good times together. We haven't had work and we haven't had school. We have been together 24/7. It wasn't easy saying goodbye for a few weeks. And maybe a few weeks is not an epic life changing amount of time to be away. It's true, soldiers like my brother bravely leave their wife and kids for a year or more. Businessmen like my dad travel for weeks at a time on a regular basis. So what's the big deal??
I realized what the big deal was-I am just a proud wife at the moment. I simply just wanted to be there with waffles on the first day of school, and a good luck note in the back pack. I really wanted to be there after school and ask a lot of annoying questions and try to hear every single detail of the day. I really wanted to sit back at the white coat ceremony on Monday, and just enjoy the moment.  But that's life. Shawn prefers cereal to waffles any day, and I can still be annoying and ask every detail of the first day of school over skype. I guess I just realized when that brown and yellow sweatshirt walked through security and waved goodbye, that all of this is really happening, life is about to change for us, and we are really growing up around here..

So here we go. We are on the road. We are on the road to a goal that we really want to achieve and it feels great to be getting started. We are on the road to Grenada for two years, and who knows where after that. Everything else is a mystery. But that's the adventure in it all. And when we get sick of the road, which inevitably happens to people on their roads in life, we will sit down and remind ourselves about the day that we thought our road was impossible. Then we will dust ourselves and start again, being grateful that we have such an amazing opportunity, and that this is our very own road, and it's leading us just where we need to be. And where would the excitement be without a little adventure thrown at us?!

I am hearing words from Shawn like "dinner at the beach," "sunset on the balcony," and "pools days twice a week" that are making me begin to wonder if Grenada is just some mystery island created especially for me. Those words define my paradise. We are heading out February 1st. Can't wait to start our adventure, and can't wait to have our family back together again! Happy memories are to come..

We love you Dad, we are soo proud of you, can't wait to see you soon
 xoxo

Gracie's Sunday.

On November 26th at 3:26 am we met our sweetest ever little Gracie girl.

When Cooper was born I was induced past my due date, so I didn't expect this girl to come early! BUT, Gracie was even later then Cooper was, it's a game of patience and torture-those last 1-2 weeks of pregnancy! However, she came at the most perfect time and in an almost perfect way. I tried to hold out, cancelling two inductions, hoping that she would just come on her own when she was ready. My doctor eventually gave me a date of Tuesday November 27th to be induced and this time he took away my option to cancel the night before!

The week of Thanksgiving we did lots of relaxing. MUCH more then we are used to! We took long naps together on the couch, we slept in, we went to bed early, we watched movies, we felt so rested we didn't know what to do with ourselves! On Sunday afternoon we took a nap on the couch and I woke up and said, today would be the most perfect day for Gracie to come. I felt like I had done every "last event" with Cooper I could think of as my only child. I felt like I had more quality time with Shawn then I had had in a long time, and my canteen was completely overflowing with Cooper and Shawn time. My doctor was back in town, my sister was back in town, and Cooper was feeling 100% better after his first ever throwing up episode. Unfortunately, I felt great and I had no hope whatsoever that it would happen. I went to church and had about ten million conversations on why my baby wasn't here yet, what the plan was, how far overdue I was, poor you you look so miserable, all those fun things. I was convinced that Tuesday was the day.

On Sunday night Shawn and I read books with Coop, we had prayer, and we tucked him nice and cozy into his crib. Later that night we were eating our usual weekend treats and having a grand old time being completely entertained by Sister Wives.  At 11:00 I started not feeling that great, but sometimes you just don't feel that great when you are a million months pregnant so I didn't think that much of it. We decided to try to go to bed around 12, and I finally admitted to Shawn that maybe possibly this could be labor, but let's not get our hopes up. I had never been in labor without an epidural before and I had no idea what it really felt like. At about 1 am we called our neighbors to come sleep on our couch and listen for Cooper. Shawn, with his ever calm fly by the seat of his pants nature called and said-if you have time just come by whenever, no big deal. They thought that was pretty funny when they met our baby the next morning. On our way to the hospital we came back home for the memory card for the camera, and we stopped at the gas station for drinks and gum. We were not in a huge hurry. We were happy until about when we got on the freeway to head to Intermountain Medical Center. Then the laughing stopped. Something flipped a switched and all the sudden I knew I was in labor..

When we walked into the Labor and Delivery unit I tried to act like I was not dying and like I was just totally fine because I knew there was a chance I could get sent home. I told the nurses this could possibly be labor, but I don't really know it might not be. They took their sweet time coming in our room, because of course they thought I was not even close. Finally they came in and we were all shocked to discover I was at a 7!
I had a little break down at this point, knowing that I had not prepared myself  to have a baby with no epidural and I had this major concern that the epidural would not be there in time. Somehow nothing seems as bad after you cry for a minute. Shawn was calm, cool and collected like any future Dr should be :) He handles stressful situations so well, which is a huge blessing because if he had looked nervous for one second I probably would have really freaked out! Luckily, the anesthesiologist was right next door and he was there within five minutes and the epidural worked like a charm!  Shawn likes to tell people that I was swearing up a storm but let's be honest who really believes that?! We got to the hospital about 2am and Gracie Kate made her grand debut at 3:26. It was an extremely chaotic and very exciting hour and a half, but over all we were so happy with the way everything worked out.

The recovery seemed so much easier after round two, maybe it's because I just had Cooper basically yesterday, or maybe because it all went so quick this time, but either way I'll take it!  Nothing is better then holding a new baby for the first time, and nothing is more special to me then the feeling of bringing a new baby home. Gracie has such a sweet, calm spirit about her and it has been so fun this Christmas time to enjoy one of heavens very newest little angels. I am happy to have a girl around here, it has been so fun pulling out the headbands and little boots. This is a good example of her life, she's never awake long and if she is-she is yawning.  Poor girl has a hard life.

Overall, never have I been so grateful for my family. Before we left the hospital I couldn't keep it together thinking about all the blessings that have come our way this past year. I new I had a good feeling about 2012, I posted about it at the beginning of this year. I had more excitement for a new year then usual-I had no idea it would bring us another baby and an acceptance to medical school but I am grateful. A move out of the country is much easier knowing that these three  are coming with me. I am completely convinced that I can be happy wherever we go if we are together. So grateful for the safe arrival of our Gracie girl. She gave us a Sunday night we will never forget, and I have thought about it every Sunday night since. We love you little miss Gracie-Welcome to our fam!

The Final Countdown

Just a few pictures that need to be documented of the last few weeks of me and Coop quality time. In the past few weeks I have panicked that once I am busy with the new baby I will no longer be Cooper's fun mom. Therefore, I have found myself in my last month of pregnancy being smashed up against the wall inside a blow up jumping house at the park carnival with about 15 other bouncing kids, riding on a sled with no snow clothes, going swimming multiple times (at 39+ weeks pregnant), climbing clear to the top of the playground and sitting Cooper on the slide (just to run back to the bottom in time to catch him) and done multiple laps at Sugarhouse park.  Last night we braved black Friday at Toy's R Us and I fought the mall crowds this morning. AND YES, I am still past my due date by 3 days at this moment. Are you telling me that some people go into labor just minding their own business at 37 weeks?? I don't believe it!! I am leaving out the small detail that I also take a nap everyday, but still...

There is nothing like the final days counting down before another baby. I wish I could write down every detail of our busy life. I just can't seem to find the time at the moment, I'm hoping one of these days I can take two hours and just catch myself back up! We have been having the best time lately, the older Cooper gets the more fun I have with him. He seriously makes my days fly by, and he has been so well behaved I'm praying it doesn't change once the baby is here. I have tried to let little things go, and dedicate my time to just embracing every second with my boy. I have let the house be messy to read a few more stories, and I have not done a few chores that I needed to take him somewhere that makes him happy. On the days that I have stuck to my chores he has been a great helper, he loves having a towel walking around the house wiping things off, he loves trying to put the clothes over his head when I am folding laundry. He is just hilarious right now, and he wears himself out every second of the day. He goes down like clockwork for his naps and for bedtime. This picture was two or three weeks ago before my cousins baby blessing, he was crying because he always does when the door opens and he thinks he doesn't get to go outside. Once he realized he wasgoing out his tears turned to a smile, but if you look closely you can see some sad little red eyes.

We took Cooper to the arcade and he was in heaven thinking he was controlling every game. Shawn and I may or may not have loved the games ourselves, we plan on going back really soon!

This year, considering we have a baby due, we were stuck in Utah. We spent Thanksgiving for the first time as just our own little fam of three. We had a nice dinner with friends, we went sledding at Silver Lake, and we took wonderful naps. I loved the extra time I got with these two before the baby, although we missed our families so much! It was a quiet day but it was just exactly what we needed. This was the only even semi decent picture we took, and it's hardly decent. We are holding Cooper out in front of us like he is a shrine, but really I think it's because he can't get any closer to us with my huge belly in the way!

After this whole slew of unorganized pictures I am considering our fun documented. I have caught myself up as much as I can for the moment, which means I am checking one more thing off the to do list of "before baby girl" . Seriously though, come on!!

Adventure Bound.

It's true. We are heading off on our very own grand adventure. I have always wanted to say something like that and actually mean it. We are moving to the Southern Carribbean (I think it's South, let's be honest I'm not the one to ask) for a little over 2 years while Shawn completes his Master's in Public Health degree and his first two years of Medical School. After those two years we will be back in the US for his 3rd and 4th year. He is entering St George University in Grenada (in the West Indies) starting in January 2013 and I couldn't be more excited or more proud!!

For me, this is a long awaited post. Shawn has always known that he wants to do medicine, and I have always known that he would. Let's be honest, like every lofty goal-there have been times that we thought it would be easier then it has actually been to find a school that was our own perfect fit. Shawn has spent hours doing research, studying for the MCAT, keeping up his grades, providing for our family, and just plain old working hard at something that he wants to succeed at. There have been nights when we have thought it was impossible, and that we were just in over our heads with almost 2 kids, work schedules, school schedules, waiting on scores and acceptance letters and interviews, etc. In fact, a week before Shawn got his acceptance phone call we went to sleep after a long heart to heart discussion that involved tears and reality checks. We were thinking that maybe this just wasn't the route for us after all, and that it might be easier to just find a quick solution and a safer solution close to home.

On a Friday afternoon a few weeks ago Shawn got a phone call telling him that he was accepted into SGU. By the time the phone call came we were so used to living in the unknown that it hardly phased us. As time has gone on we have became more and more excited. We each came to terms with it in our way, and both made a decision that we could never turn down this opportunity. We finally looked at each other on Sunday afternoon over a nutritious frozen pizza, and committed that we were going to make this happen. As we have looked back, and the congratulations balloons went in the trash, and the excitement of having a new option died away-we have felt almost nothing but peace with our decision. I have been so surprised at how little stress I feel, considering we are having a baby within the next two weeks, moving out of our house in six weeks, and to an entirely different country in two months.

Looking back now, it's easy to see all kinds of little events in our married life that have nudged us in this direction. A few different people mentioned this school to us in the same week, a week in which we just so happened to be open to alternative options. As time went on I silently became more excited, and I kept persuading Shawn that I had a feeling we would end up there (I like to think it was inspiration with a slight hint of beach-girl intuition). Shawn took every bit of persuading and eventually after doing some research and talking to people who had been there, done that- he applied. It's interesting to me to look back over a few years time span and see how we are led to certain places for a very specific reason. Hind site perspective is the best.

I definitely know that there is not only one place we can be in our lives to be happy. But, right now I am enjoying the fact that for once we can say goodbye, for at least a short while, to the inbetween.  Like any decision, we of course have a few negatives on our side, but we are choosing not to focus on a single one of them.
Instead:
Shawn is focusing on school, and the excitement of the fact that he gets to pursue a career he has always wanted, and one that intrigues him enough that he feels he will never get bored. He is focusing on being the one to get everything all settled financially, for living, and getting ready for a big move.  Conveniently it just so happens that the world of medicine is something I also find entertaining and I will be a diligent audience for all his stories. I am lucky enough to  focus on getting our baby girl here safe and sound so she can take the journey with us. I have to be honest, I am also focusing on the fact that my love for the beach will be put to good use for a few years as a stay at home mom/wife for the first time ever! I am focusing on the fact that I know there are things we need to do, people we need to meet, and life we need to experience in Grenada that we couldn't find anywhere else at this time.

On the nights when that way of thinking fails me, and I accidentally start to cry before bed because I don't know if I am quite brave enough to say goodbye to my little Sugarhouse, I realize the idea of an adventure is a lot easier then actually going. That's when I remind myself of what my number one reliable source says..
Thomas S. Monson-"Your future is as bright as your faith." 
Probably his most quoted quote. And with good reason.

And so we keep telling ourselves that our future is fine with a little faith on our side, and we are believing it, and I am repeating those words over and over in my mind as we prepare to pack up our babies and close the door on the very simple and very comfortable home and life we love. We are ready to create a new home and life we love a million miles away. I'm excited to go explore another few inches of such a beautiful world, and teach my two little ones all about this wonderful place that they get to spend a lifetime of years exploring.
I am thankful to be married to someone who works hard for what he wants. I am extra thankful that he has an adventurous soul similar to my own, and that he will think outside the box to make things happen. I could pretty much toot his horn all day, he is my pride and joy. We were made for each other there is no doubt in my mind. I am thankful that the past four years have led us to this exciting milestone, this huge blessing.

I am proud to be a part of Team Allen, soon to be a family of four, soon to be on a grand adventure.The best part is that we are going together.

Just so you know,  I'm already putting plugs out for visitors. Does that look fun?


p.s. I decided to not privatize my blog considering we will be so far from home. I have a feeling that this little page with help with lots of homesickness and make us feel like we are not quite so far away. We want to keep in touch with as many family and friends as possible!

And so we sum it up like this-  
Hello, adventure. We are terrified of you, but we have been begging for you and you are just what we needed right about now..Grenada, here we come!

Happy bday to ME

It sounds vain but I pretty much just really love my own birthday every year. Shawn knows I love it and so he reminds me the whole month that it is coming up. I really just like it because I get to eat all of my favorite food, and usually talk to all of my favorite people in the same day. This year Shawn got off work at 1 and showed up on the doorstep with roses and a cute smile. He isn't usually a flowers type of guy, so the effort of the flowers was a very nice touch on his part, even if they were accompanied by a questionably inappropriate card!

We drove to Park city through Provo canyon, just because we both knew I needed to see the beautiful fall leaves on the way. We were not disappointed! We pathetically can't recall ever being to the actual historic downtown Park City main street, but we loved it!! We ate at a quaint little restaurant, out on the patio. We were the only ones out there. We did some people watching and took in the scenery.

We went to the outlets and discovered a Nike sale- I came home with new running shoes, which is something I have been begging for. I was impressed with how helpful Shawn can be at shopping when he puts his mind to it, he was determined to help me find the perfect shoe. I knew he had been trying to find some on his own for a while. I found evidence of chicken scratch notes on places to look for shoes in the car. The thought that he had tried so hard was the most fulfilling part of my day.

We came home to something we love-- a good comedy and our pj's.

We ate food that was much more fancy then people like us are used to eating on a regular basis. AND, that's why I love birthdays!

25 years seems old. A quarter of a century. Just yesterday I swear I turned 15 and got my first cell phone. I have to say, these have been 25 good ones. Mostly because of the people in them who make them just so good. Thanks to everyone who made me feel special on my bday weekend. I couldn't have been more satisfied.

Don't mind the dirty windshield, this sunset on the way home was too beautiful to pass up, even through the smashed bugs.