Saturday, May 26, 2012

The land of the in between

This is a place I feel like we have been living for a while. We are undecided about the next move. Every plan depends on something, which then depends on something like test scores, which then depends on something like application timing, which then again depends on something annoying like financial status, which then again depends on interviews and who knows what else. When you are someone who has always had somewhat of a plan, this can drive you crazy! We feel like we have exciting plans in the future, but we just don't know exactly when and how they are all working out. So here we sit, in the land of the in between.
Today I found a little garage sale rocking chair, that I think I will love more after a paint job. I have a huge pile of wonderful things in my basement waiting for a paint job, and an actual home to be displayed in. I was cleaning during nap time this morning and realized for now, this pillow matches this chair perfectly. A young women's leader of mine made this pillow for me, I wonder if she knows how many times I have read the words, and they hit me like "why hasn't anyone reminded me of that lately??" It is only another quote by my favorite lady sister Hinckley.

"The trick is to enjoy life, don't wish away your days waiting for better ones ahead"

Truthfully, unless I think about all the headache we have solidifying a plan for the next year, life is not at all hard to enjoy. Mostly because I have good company. Cooper has found a pathway taking laps around the house. He starts in his bedroom by his crib, he walks around the whole room, opens the bottom drawer and throws everything out, and then heads into the bathroom. In the bathroom we purposely leave the shampoos and soap bottles on the outside rim of the tub with the lids closed. He walks along the tub and pushes every bottle in separately listening to the loud bang. He opens the bathroom cupboard under the sink a few times, not to touch anything inside, but just to open and slam it for a while. He then walks down the hall and into the kitchen where he opens the drawer under the stove and bangs a few pots and pans. He moves over to the tupperware drawer and follows the wall around the whole kitchen. He ends up in the living room where his toys are and if he is lucky there are a few treats at the end of his route and sits for a while and eats them before getting up again. The whole route can keep him busy for about 20-30 minutes. He can walk around the whole house a million times as long as he has something to hold onto, but he definitely is not brave enough to step out on his own. It cracks me up to watch him explore this little place time and time again.

We have had plenty to do to fill our time in this nice weather. My best bet for a happy boy is to keep him as busy as possible during the day.
He does this major cheesy smile all the sudden it's so funny. It's almost like he is making fun of the smiles I make at him.

This is the cutest picture of Cooper and Sophie. Little by little, they are actually starting to interact with each other and just yesterday at lunch Cooper reached for Sophie's hand and she reached back and thought it was the funniest thing. She used to not love it when he always wanted to touch her! They are so cute and surprisingly sometimes are starting to look a little bit a like on the right day at the right moment. Cooper gets the cutest look in his eyes when he sees Sophie and watches everything she does. I'm grateful we have had these years by Sophie, she will always have a special little place in my heart!

I love seeing Cooper start interacting with little people about his age. It is even more convenient when I love their moms so it is happiness for everyone all around. These are two of his little friends that he has started trying to interact with in the past few weeks. It's cute because Lincoln thinks that Cooper is such a little baby, and Cooper thinks that Dean is just such a little baby!

And just so I never forget..Cooper has finally been okay with sitting down by us for a minute, and he especially is learning to love books. Coming from a family of summertime bookworms every year, I am so happy that he actually acts like he cares about the books we have! His favorite book right now is "Time for Bed". We read it every night and he gets so excited to see the animals on every page. He also has been a little more cuddly then usual due to teething (but I'll take it!) and he finally will give kisses, which is the cutest thing! Shawn took these on mother's day he was so sweet that night before bed.

I suppose this is not a bad place to be living the in between life. I have never been so grateful for good friends and family who make my free time with Cooper so fun. Summer is my favorite time of year, I know I have said that about fall and I probably will say it again in September, but right now- I just want Summer! Here's to hoping that before the summer is over, we actually have a plan for a new chapter! Until then, we will be trusting my favorite lady, and thinking ONLY positive thoughts, in the land of the in between!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Hello, World.

This weekend should be all about my boy. No, not the boy I talk about in every single post, whose pee and spit up and sleeping patterns I want to share with the world. But, the other boy, the one who is responsible for creating team Allen in the first place. Only my best friend, my best example, my best half. This weekend he should put on his cap and gown, and march across a stadium with pride, looking handsome and becoming officially grown up. I have the ceremony pictured in my mind actually going very well. I would probably shed a tear when the first few notes of pomp and circumstance began, because that's what I do whenever I hear the first few notes of that song, even if I don't know a single soul in a cap and gown. Graduation is a tender subject for me.
Graduation brings change. I don't always love that about graduation, the way you feel the morning after, when life as you know it is all something new, and there is no classroom on your schedule that teaches you exactly where to go.

I am fairly positive my camera would be in the grad's face all day long, capturing every detail of the hat, the gown, the red and white field, the expressions on the accomplished face. I think I would sit in the sunlit stadium and reflect on our years as students. I am certain I would feel that no wife in the place could be quite as proud as I. I would feel privileged, that I am the one who gets to be the number one fan. What fond memories I have. Student memories, where what we do and how broke we are doesn't matter, because we are not really part of real life yet. An excuse to just let unsettled futures be okay, and be exciting. I will miss these days. For that reason I am grateful that one lingering summer class is still tying us to that "student" world for just a few short months. It is in those quick months we have to decide where a more grown up life will actually be taking us.

For a few reasons, my boy is not putting on his cap and gown this weekend. One being that he just doesn't care for stuff such as that. Another being that for him it would feel like a fake out, since he still has that lingering class. But that doesn't mean that this weekend is still not significant to me. As long as we have been married we have lived life this way, and I'm excited to see what life holds now that this phase is coming to a close. The butterflies are starting, because whether we are present in the crowds or not, Shawn's tassle is being moved over to the other side of his cap this weekend, and we have one foot out the door. This side of the cap means big adventures are right around the corner, we just don't know quite what they are yet. I will be playing the graduation scenario out in my mind this weekend, while we are holding hands and sipping a soda, or sitting by a campfire in the canyon-and I will be extra proud of my boy, whether he knows it or not.

I am grateful that he deserved his cap and gown this weekend, and that he would have worn it so well. Grateful knowing that he has worked himself ragged between full time school and full time work. Knowing that he is someone I admire, look up to, and am privileged to be next to day after day, just hoping his awesomeness rubs off on me. He will not appreciate this post when he sees it, but 20 years from now that will be different. Then he'll look back and he might be a tiny bit grateful to me, that I documented this monumental moment in some way. And at that point we will laugh at how little we knew on this carefree weekend, two twenty four year olds and a baby. And we will smile, that we knew nothing about our future and the gifts it holds that we have yet to discover..In that case-Hello, world. It's about time we get to come explore you in a whole new way.

Happy Weekend. It's Friday, every post sounds better on a Friday.