Friday, October 22, 2010


This month all of my shifts have been in the pediatric ICU at Primary's. I have been spending some time learning about all of the more advanced equipment that is specifically used in the ICU setting, so I can help in that unit more often. Naturally, dealing with more advanced equipment, means dealing with sicker kids. I am not a parent, I don't understand the feelings of loss and disappointment that occur on a daily basis inside that special unit. I don't feel like I can relate. I do however, remember hearing some news once upon a time that I wished more then anything I could erase. I do remember looking ahead a few weeks after I heard that news and thinking how miserable it would be to somehow survive them. Because of that experience, I watch the people I see walking around everyday and I so much admire them. They are much better people then me. I stare at them, yes- I have a major staring problem. But I still stare, because I want so bad to be more like them. They amaze me and I have learned so much more then how to handle advanced equipment in the past few weeks. It has persuaded me to put my life back into perspective.

On Tuesday I went to work. I had another busy day, and I told myself in the midst of it to take in every single detail. There was so much more to learn then how to write down and record numbers, how to change out drips, and how to make changes on the ventilator. I learned a lot about perspective on Tuesday. I caught a glimpse of parental love for a child. I realized life is a privilege.

I went home on Tuesday night to a castle instead of a teeny tiny 800 square foot house, with a temporarily broken furnace. I was picked up by Prince charming instead of a very tired over worked, over studied husband. We drove home in a wonderful reliable car, instead of my corolla with one side scratched up that we share and overdrive. I walked to the gym last night all by myself, down the quiet Sugarhouse main street. I thought more then once about the families I had left behind at the end of my shift. The people I look up to and admire. The people I want to teach me everything they know. And I was excited to return to work later this week, because I was excited to rub shoulders once again with those who are incredible. I am so far from the strong, inspirational nurses I see all around me, and the nurse I hope to someday be. BUT I do love being a nurse. Sometimes I forget that. Actually almost every night before I work I forget that. But I did choose a profession that keeps me fulfilled, and most of the time reminds me to keep life in perspective. I am very thankful, because I need that.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

23 is awesome.

Today we went to conference. Just what I needed. I wore my highest shoes so that no one could block my view this year when the prophet walked in, and it worked. I love that feeling. Being able to attend conference a few times since we have lived in Utah is one of my most favorite memories of the time we have spent here..

A few days ago I woke up and all the sudden I was 23..
I woke up to breakfast in bed, for the first time ever in my life. For some reason breakfast tastes better in bed and no one ever filled me in on that. We made our way out to the couch and cuddled for a really long time, because time doesn't really matter on your birthday (neither do calories :))
We look five when we wake up-

Because we had all the time and calories in the world to spare, we went to lunch at Elizabeth's tea shop and bakery..hmm my husband knows me so well.

The afternoon I spent with two of my favorite girls shopping. Jaimee and I bought Sophie some jeggings and some wanna be ugg boots. It was pretty close to the highlight of my day.

Also during my birthday week Shawn and I drove up to a quiet lake at Brighton resort. I have been wanting to do the hike up to Twin Lakes or Lake Solitude but Shawn had homework :( If anyone lives close who likes to hike I'm ready for it before it gets too cold! The leaves are changing and it was so heavenly at night.
There was a perfect reflection in the water-

Now I am the same age as my husband again. I have to quiet my mind when it starts heading back to my teenage years reminding me that I thought I would have life figured out and be perfectly settled into adult life by the time I was in my twenties. None of that happened. Oh well.
23 is here like it or not. And since it's here either way, 23 is going to be awesome.