Tired eyes

That is what we have been seeing at our house. VERY tired eyes, tired brains, tired mouths, tired hearts, tired everything!! I don't know how I was so naive, but somehow I thought that I was going to have motherhood down with not too much work, considering I have spent 3+ years working with kids and babies 12 hours at a time, almost 40 hours a week! I had NO idea how much more went into a baby of my own. Apparently I was forgetting that at work I go home after 12 hours. It is a new concept to me being on the job 24/7. My mind never fully rests because every waking second I am thinking about Cooper and if he is comfy, warm, hungry, happy, the list goes on!
haha this picture of these two makes me laugh-they both look a little distraught..


However..Cooper loves to hold my hand at night while he eats. He smiles almost every night as he is drifting off to sleep, and gets this pleasant look on his face like "my life is so good." we hang out in the mornings when we are home alone together and he makes great company. He looks very cute in his pajamas, especially with a case of bedhead. Nothing in my life has given me more satisfaction then to see that he is finally gaining his very first fat roll (under his chin). Every once in a while he will stop eating, and just look up for a second like he wants to say hi..it makes the time spent so worth it..


When I was feeding Cooper today (which usually takes about 8 hours of my day) I was taking a break from TV and the kindle and listening to some Taylor Swift mix on you tube. Her "Never Grow Up" song came on, I have only heard that song once before. It took the words right out of my mouth...if you haven't listened to it you should! There is a little something I love about looking at Shawn's tired eyes. Maybe I don't even mind staring at my own in the mirror..because those tired eyes staring back only mean that we are lucky to be living through a stage in life that is very rare and passes way too quickly. Our sleepiness is proof that everything in our world is now controlled by someone else..and it feels pretty good

I have to be honest, when Cooper starts sleeping through the night..as GRATEFUL as I will be..there might be just a small part of me that wants to hear him cry in the monitor for me again at 3 am, so I can go pick him up and rock him to sleep with his sweet little hands tucked safely inside their mittens. I thought I loved that garage sale rocking chair before, but I had no idea. I will take it with me wherever I go for the rest of my life, because now it holds the memories of long nights of team work, rocking our first boy to sleep..
Life has started to calm down and we are making progress..We love this little boy and I sort of already wish we could push pause, tired eyes included.