24, 2 months old, and back to work!

Happy Birthday to me!! Woohoo. I love birthdays. I turned 24 a few days ago and I had a wonderful, relaxing day. Most of my day was spent with Little Coop, I went to lunch with my family, and had endless shrimp at Red Lobster with Shawn for my birthday dinner. It was mellow and calm, just what we needed after 2 nights of rough sleep. I have missed Shawn (although he has been here the whole time) It's a weird thing. I miss our quality time..so we put Coop to bed a little early and just plain enjoyed each other's company on my birthday night. Here's a little family pic on my bday, Cooper wasn't looking at the camera, of course. It's really hard to take pictures by ourselves of the whole family now! I may or may not have been waiting for an excuse to wear red lipstick..I thought Red Lobster on my birthday was as close as it gets. I have to be honest, pretty sure I can't pull it off too well. Actually at all. So what? The people that can pull it off I am really jealous of. I think I might try it again someday, maybe tonight?

We went to Idaho the weekend before my birthday, it's pretty much tradition. It's between mine and Abby's birthday weeks, and so I usually like to go up and celebrate with her. We go to my grandma's almost every year to ride their fourwheelers and eat some good food..my mom and I scored at some garage sales as well. She is somehow the best at garage sales! I love going home.

Cooper is 2 months old today!! Where does time go. It makes me sad. He got his shots this morning :( He was very brave and didn't cry too much, but made a seriously seriously sad bottom lip pouty face. I would have probably rather him scream, it broke my heart! He is 90% percentile in height, and about 60% or 70% in weight, I already can't remember the exact number. Regardless, he is pretty much currently huge. Especially coming from my family of shorties. I love him, even though he eats all day every day.

I am heading back to work this weekend! I am going to work 2 nights a week- please wish me luck!! I am extremely nervous. I am basically nervous about everything..leaving Cooper, remembering how to be a nurse again, and having the energy to stay up 12 hours all night two nights in a row. I am nervous that my job will not bring the same joy to me as it did before, because I understand more how a parent might feel seeing their child in the hospital. I am nervous that I will look at little boys and see my Cooper in them, and be significantly more sad then I was before. I will be extremely happy next week when my first shifts are already behind me! I am grateful that I have a job where Shawn can be home at night while I work. I think they are both going to love when I'm gone and they can make a mess and love them some male bonding-espn and hot wings time.

Our life is busy these days, and we live for 7 or 8 pm when we can finally hang out together after dinner for a few hours before bed. Shawn has take Cooper on a few runs with the jogging stroller, sometimes I follow behind. There is pretty much no way I could run and push the stroller at the same time..yet. I can't tell if I'm just not coordinated enough or don't have enough stamina, either way I see these moms at the park who are my role models. The other day this tiny mom was pushing TWO two year old twins..show off. I'm workin on it.

Cooper currently loves his bouncer, going on walks,and being sung too. Very manly. This is his favorite spot to sit in the mornings when it's sunny out.

We took a turn for the worst with sleeping patterns in Idaho and since we got back. Let's just say we were getting up about every hour..we are finally getting back on track. Oh well..we make each other happy. Everything else we are still working on..

Cooper's big day

We blessed our little boy Coop over labor day weekend. It was an amazing day. The whole family peacefully made it out the door right on time-with full bellies [not usually team Allen style]-Fortunately we had lots of help from Grandma. Cooper was a little angel, he was wide awake all during sacrament meeting and he didn't make a peep. He made us proud. He had a little heart to heart with grandma before the big day.

I was trying to go the cheapest route possible and I got him some pin stripe suit pants with a white shirt on sale at Baby Gap. The pants were way too big. Finally I just threw in the towel and bought him the real deal. I was so happy I did. He looked so cute in all white- and I will save that little outfit forever and ever. Shawn had to teach that morning, when he first saw Cooper all dressed in white looking so official he looked away from us for a sec and had to "take a minute" as he calls it. I think that's man language for something I'm not supposed to be talking about. But seriously, how precious is this little face?

I was so excited anticipating this big event..There was just one time when I was pregnant that I heard a blessing of a baby boy. I actually did pathetically lose it-hearing way too much about all the grown up things this boy would do, naturally I thought about my own boy growing up (and he wasn't even born yet, how illogical is that) I'll blame it on pregnancy hormones! We kept it together, and I was an overly proud wife and mother for the day. We had a lunch after with a whole bunch of people that we love, and who all love our new little boy. Cooper is lucky.

With neither of us being raised here, we miss things about our hometowns sometimes. BUT, once upon a time I moved away from home for the first time. I didn't know one person in the huge town of Provo, actually pretty much within a two hour radius! I knocked on the door of King Henry #110, and these cute/adorable/wonderful faces opened the door..I got super lucky. They taught me about life in the big city, and gave me directions to the grocery store, and parallel parked my car when I didn't know how. And now these people are some of my closest friends, and they will be forever and ever! Two of my cute roomies are missing in this pic, but they were there in spirit..

Shawn's family came clear from Arizona, My mom came from Idaho and they all did so much to help us get ready. Tyler was the only brother that could be there, so we were very grateful for good friends who could stand in in place of our brothers, and fill the role so well..

Coop was worn out by the end of the day. So he relaxed in a muscle shirt with Aunt Melissa, and cuddled with his new little GIRL cousin to be in her tiny belly.

At the end of the day we tucked Cooper in bed, and we had a little pillow chat about how grateful we were for so many different things, and so many amazing people. I love pillow chats that go in that direction. I wish we had gotten a group picture with everyone, but we never did :(

On a whole different note-
Cooper loves this wall in our house.

It is behind the couch that I feed him on during the day and he just stares
at it the whole time. Now that I'm looking at it I DO realize there are a few frames that need straightening-ah, what the heck, we have been preoccupied. Cooper stares at this wall constantly [Shawn says he gets his staring problem from his mom. oops, I know it's true-other peoples lives just seem to fascinating not to watch sometimes.] Last week Coop tried to say a few words to "his wall". It was hilarious. He made some squeaks with his new-found voice and then jumped and looked around like he had no idea where the noise was coming from. It was very entertaining.

Someday I will blog about something besides my Cooper. But honestly, he is just 7 weeks old. We are still in the honeymoon phase of being obsessed with his every move. There is a very good chance that someday I will [heaven forbid] be slightly annoyed at something this boy does. There is also a good chance that no one really cares about these little details of our life except us, and even if that's the case this record will still be worth it someday-If you made it this far, bear with us..please :)

My deep dark secrets

Once upon a time I had a few dreams about what it would be like to be the perfect wife. I think I may have posted about it somewhere in my past blogging life. It consisted of perfectly long luscious locks, getting thinner and more beautiful with age (but still making delicious brownies), clean dishes every night, the house smelling like roses every day, fresh flowers on the table, blah blah BLAH. It came partly from my friend Anne (in the book Anne's house of dreams by the way)-she did it all so well.

Don't you worry, my hair is still in a ponytail (and not a long luscious one for the record)-even the bangs are pulled back as I am typing this. I may or may not still have a few baby pounds to lose. However, I must give myself credit-I have almost mastered the clean sink.
I love this lady that I see in my head that I know as "the perfect wife" I am going to keep watching her like a movie in my brain as I get older, and see if I can't learn a thing or two..

After those dreams were so brutally awakened once upon a time by a little something called reality, I developed new, but equally unrealistic dreams (that is usually my style.) Ahh, to be "the perfect mom." This lady has an endless surplus of energy. Her baby is always full, his face is always clean, his clothes always smell like fresh laundry-his skin like that pink bottle of Johnson's baby lotion. His blankets is never left out in the car when he wants it at night. She wakes up happy and ready to run, she goes to sleep after everyone else and feels fulfilled..she has an endless surplus amount of time to cuddle, because her chores are always done and the bills are always paid. I LOVE her. I want to BE her.

However, lets get real. I am not her. And sometimes at the and of the day I think about the million more things I could have done better (I might be slightly a perfectionist at times) I do feel better that she is out of my imagination now and shared with the world. We have spent the past 6 weeks figuring out life for the family of 3. I have tried very hard, I have to be honest. I have ran my little fanny off while Cooper sleeps to shower, beautify myself (which usually includes throwing that hair up in that pony), do the dishes, prepare for dinner, pay a few bills, and be cheery and happy when he wakes up to eat (which for the record I do feed him all day and he is NEVER full).

So I was reading in my journal, which I have improved on keeping the past few months since Cooper joined our team. I found this quote, and I remembered all the sudden who my real role model was once upon a time..this cute perfect little lady.

Because she said this:
“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”

It seems to never get old the more I read it..I could never say it like she does, but she sums up my feelings pretty well. I LOVE her. I want to BE her.


So thanks to this lady, I will continue to kiss both of my best boys on the cheek before bed, and feel fulfilled, despite the fact that our life is not perfect. And I will appreciate all the selfless help received-even if Shawn does enjoy things like a fantasy football draft during babysitting. You better believe we will keep on dreaming :)

All About Today

I wrote this a few days ago and never published it, today I read it again and realized I wanted permanent record :) It's nothing too interesting..

Last night Cooper slept seven consecutive hours for the first time in 5 weeks! It felt so amazing to get a whole night of sleep I woke up feeling like super woman. I thought about all the things I could do with my day now that I was well rested! I decided I would take my stroller to the Gateway and walk around with Cooper, and maybe even go to the park. Then I changed my mind and decided I would drive south and go to the mall and meet my sister-I had extra energy that I had sure been missing!

Then Cooper woke up and was in the most mellow mood, all he wanted to do was cuddle. Every time I picked him up his body just melted in my arms and relaxed. His eyes were wide open he just stared at me like he was perfectly content. I have received two smiles this week..and I believe they are finally purposeful smiles! I easily decided to scratch all my plans because I now had better ones. I knew Cooper would probably fall asleep the second I started the car, but today I didn't want that.

So instead, Cooper and I have rocked in his chair for a total of probably three hours off and on today, and I have loved every second of it. I can't believe he is 5 weeks old already! He has the sweetest little eyes and he finally seems like he can focus on us and knows who we are. Now that he is asleep I am noticing that unfortunately there are chores to be done, that my make up isn't on, and that all I have accomplished today is pretty much taking a shower and doing a few dishes. But today has been so unique in the fact that Cooper and I have both been perfectly content to sit and do absolutely nothing but enjoy good company :)

Maybe tomorrow I'll post about his blessing, or Uncle Josh coming to visit in Idaho..maybe tomorrow I'll go to the mall and run all of our other built up errands..today all I can think about is the boy sleeping in the room next door in his little crib and I am determined to enjoy every second while it lasts..time is going way too fast!

Uncle Joshy

Finally, our official "SSG Allen" had a little extra time to return to his Idaho roots and visit family. Of course we drove up to join him. Something about Idaho in August/September never ever gets old. Plus, we have been waiting for a chance to see our long lost brother for a loonng time. It felt so good to all be together again.

Somehow no matter how much time goes by, when we see Josh it feels like he never even left us. He still makes us laugh, he still puts everyone at ease, and he is the perfect brother to balance out 4 sisters. We tried to play night games at the park, but Josh quickly became frustrated with hide and go seek with sisters who could never find him so we moved our games inside. Apparently the army has taught him some good hiding tricks.

Despite the fact that Cooper was 3 weeks old and we were very exhausted we didn't want to miss out on anything. We floated Warm River, went to Bear World, and watched a movie with a projector on the side of our house. It was much more excitement then I would have ideally planned for my little baby, but while we were there I kept telling myself that these days with the whole family together are short lived..so we did the best we could to enjoy it while it lasted. I pretty much felt in a daze the whole time because we would stay up late, and right when I closed my eyes Cooper would wake up for his 3 am feeding..I complained about that just a little bit-and it was still worth it!
Cooper wore Camo to impress his uncle and look tough.

Roasting 'mallows. You would think this boy was born and raised in Idaho or something..he cooked my hot dog to perfection.

Josh's kids, Olivia and Henry are completely darling. Olivia took good care of Cooper, and Sophie followed Olivia's example.

Cooper had to do a lot of sitting back and watching everyone else play

The benefits of waking up at Grandmas..

I have a million more pictures, but not enough time! Josh adds a different dynamic to our family and I am so proud that he is my brother. He loves his job in the army and proudly goes wherever they ask him..I have tried to tell him before to play up a hurt foot or finger or hand to put off his leave to Iraq. He would never dream of it..I am proud to still share his last name, and I love the fact that he represents it so well..Miss you already Uncle Joshy and your entire cute family! We will be hanging on to these good times, until next time...

Tired eyes

That is what we have been seeing at our house. VERY tired eyes, tired brains, tired mouths, tired hearts, tired everything!! I don't know how I was so naive, but somehow I thought that I was going to have motherhood down with not too much work, considering I have spent 3+ years working with kids and babies 12 hours at a time, almost 40 hours a week! I had NO idea how much more went into a baby of my own. Apparently I was forgetting that at work I go home after 12 hours. It is a new concept to me being on the job 24/7. My mind never fully rests because every waking second I am thinking about Cooper and if he is comfy, warm, hungry, happy, the list goes on!
haha this picture of these two makes me laugh-they both look a little distraught..


However..Cooper loves to hold my hand at night while he eats. He smiles almost every night as he is drifting off to sleep, and gets this pleasant look on his face like "my life is so good." we hang out in the mornings when we are home alone together and he makes great company. He looks very cute in his pajamas, especially with a case of bedhead. Nothing in my life has given me more satisfaction then to see that he is finally gaining his very first fat roll (under his chin). Every once in a while he will stop eating, and just look up for a second like he wants to say hi..it makes the time spent so worth it..


When I was feeding Cooper today (which usually takes about 8 hours of my day) I was taking a break from TV and the kindle and listening to some Taylor Swift mix on you tube. Her "Never Grow Up" song came on, I have only heard that song once before. It took the words right out of my mouth...if you haven't listened to it you should! There is a little something I love about looking at Shawn's tired eyes. Maybe I don't even mind staring at my own in the mirror..because those tired eyes staring back only mean that we are lucky to be living through a stage in life that is very rare and passes way too quickly. Our sleepiness is proof that everything in our world is now controlled by someone else..and it feels pretty good

I have to be honest, when Cooper starts sleeping through the night..as GRATEFUL as I will be..there might be just a small part of me that wants to hear him cry in the monitor for me again at 3 am, so I can go pick him up and rock him to sleep with his sweet little hands tucked safely inside their mittens. I thought I loved that garage sale rocking chair before, but I had no idea. I will take it with me wherever I go for the rest of my life, because now it holds the memories of long nights of team work, rocking our first boy to sleep..
Life has started to calm down and we are making progress..We love this little boy and I sort of already wish we could push pause, tired eyes included.

Someone new to love.

Meet sweet little Cooper Shawn.
He was born 7/30/11 weighed 7 lbs 3 oz and was 21.5 inches long. He has captured our hearts over the past 11 days.




We closed the door on our cute little home the morning he was born knowing it was the last time we would be there without our little boy..it was such a weird feeling!


His birthday was such an exciting day for us! It's easily one of the best days of my life. I was 2 whole long days past my due date and we could NOT wait to just look at his face and hold him! Shawn was over the top excited all day, and seriously the best person I ever could have had by my side. Whenever I got nervous he was super calm, and he made the whole day easier for me, making sure everything was taken care of. Being interested in the medical field, Shawn was involved and intrigued by the whole process asking my doctor questions I wouldn't have ever thought of-Along those lines, I have to apologize if you are one of our wonderful friends or family who have came to visit, only to be greeted by Shawn showing off pictures of my placenta, it's not like that's personal or anything!


Cooper came home with very dark curly hair, it has lightened up since then..It's amazing how much older he looks to us already. He is a very calm baby, he gets so relaxed just laying awake on his boppy listening to people talking around him. He falls asleep the second he is in the car or his stroller. He has the longest wingspan I have ever seen on a baby, and I work with babies! The photographer and nurses at the hospital never failed to comment on his extremely long and skinny arms and legs, and huge feet and hands. We know exactly where that comes from. He loves his hair being tickled, and of course he loves to eat..


It feels different to me just walking through the door of our house knowing Cooper is here. I love hanging out with him all day and seeing teeny tiny glimpses of his personality coming through. We are so grateful to have little Coop in our lives, and appreciate every second we are able to enjoy with him! We have had the most amazing friends and family support and feel so taken care of. Thanks to everyone who helped us out and were excited for us, it just made the whole experience of adding to our family that much better. It's funny how complete I felt like our life was just the two of us, and now I wonder how I ever felt that way without this boy around.

After what seems like the longest wait in the world, we are now very proudly Team Allen plus one. Despite the sleepless nights, we are grateful to be that way.